Family
by Challopea
Summary: Post Titan War. Levi and Hange moved into a newly constructed house and family are coming to visit for the holidays


Family

Levi walked up to the two story house at the end of the street, which nestled cozily into the its surroundings. The only thing that made it stand out was the weird barn like structure in the backyard. It was huge, more like a tower and at least 15 meters in height.

He had never lived there-the construction was still going on when he left home and joined the army. A couple of months ago he got a letter from his mother telling him that they had just moved in.

'Please do come home for the holidays! We can't wait to show you the house and my beautiful and wonderful new lab.'

As if she did not know that he would rather visiting the Devil in the hell, than her lab. Levi sighed.

'Cling, Cling, …, Cling,... Click!' A small bicycle clanked its way up from behind and stopped right in front of him, forcing him to stop to avoid stepping over it.

'Hi!'

The little girl on the bike raised her greasy hand to adjust the big square glasses rested on the bridge of her nose on her dirty face, and then raised it above her messy rat nest of brown hair to wave eagerly at him.

'Do you live in this neighborhood?' the girl, who was probably no older than 7 or 8, asked with a big ear-to-ear grin on her face.

'No.' Levi scowled, not knowing what else to say. Dealing with girls was never his forte, let alone ones of her age.

'Are you visiting that big ugly house at the end of the street?' the little girl pointed behind her, big brown eyes sparkled with curiosity.

'No.' Levi scowled, embarrassed by his mother's horrible taste and miserable lacking of any sense common. He was not lying, either-though literally he did not live there any more, it was still his home.

'Ha! I knew it!' the little girl moved her bike a couple of steps closer. She looked around very carefully, as if to make sure no one was in listening range, and then stood up from the saddle and leaned on her tiptoes and said in a very low voice, as if sharing some forbidden secret, 'I think the Addams Family live there.'

'The Addams Family, as in the cartoon book series "The Family of Monsters"?' The girl quickly added. Apparently she misconstrued the expression of shocks on Levi's face as puzzlement. So she hurried to supply him with more supporting arguments to her wild conjecture.

'The guy was very short and the woman was very tall, just like Gomez and Morticia!'

Like Gomez and Morticia? Levi almost chuckled. His father was 5 feet 3 and his mother was 5 feet 7. In a sense, that was a big difference, especially in the exaggerating eyes of a little child.

Taking the muffled chuckle as an encouragement, the little girl went on, 'there is also this big bald old guy who often comes by, just like Uncle Fester.'

Big bald old guy? That must be Uncle Irwin. Poor Uncle Irwin had definitely lost most of his hair and added on a couple of pounds in the past few years. But Levi still could not imagine him putting a light bulb in his mouth and trying to light it up.

'Did you see...'

Before Levi could finish his question, the little girl shook her head but quickly added, 'I have never seen him doing it,' with a motion of putting something big and round into her mouth, 'but I am sure he can- you know, his head is so smooth and bright!'

Not able to hold them back any longer, Levi burst into a short series of quick laughs.

'See, I told you so!' the girl happily grinned, 'And there is also this very weird guy who thinks every day is Halloween. You know, he always shows up in his costumes, weird robes and a crown, as if he is cosplaying a King.'

'That must be Eren.' Poor Bro, he must really hate his job to run back to their parents' house that often.

'Eren? He must be named after the King! Ha, that is it! Poor guy thinks he is King since he was named after one! His wife is very beautiful, though.'

Mikasa, who was indeed very beautiful. Levi nodded. He used to have a big crush on her when he was a little kid.

'See?! How come a girl that beautiful marries a guy who must run away from some mad house?' the little girl furrowed up her brows as if trying to figure out an answer to some cosmetic scale question, and then added, 'on second thought, she is not very normal herself. You know that crazy guy, her husband? He gets thrown out of the middle window on the second floor like every three minutes during dinner time.'

Seeing the apparent concerns on Levi's face, the little girl shook her head and said, 'no, don't worry, he never gets injured. He always just stands up and walks it off as if nothing happened.'

Levi chuckled again. Eren and his Titan's healing powers.

'But that is not the crazy part!' the little girl tucked at Levi's sleeve, demanding his full attention to the more important secrets she was about to share. 'The crazy part is that every time he gets thrown out, his wife would just zip out of those windows on some thin lines, swoop him up, and zip right back through the windows!'

'Oh, she must be very good with 3D maneuvering gears.' Levi commented.

'Yes. She is.' the girl nodded and grinned, 'Do you know there are also monsters living in their backyard? Big scary monsters show up in the middle of the night when everybody else in the neighborhood is supposed to be asleep?'

'They don't live there.' Levi snorted.

'But they are really scary, and BBBIIIIGGGG! There is even one which is at least 60m tall!'

That must be Bertolt-poor guy, Eren must have volunteered him as often as he can so he himself can avoid being experimented on by his mother.

'And there is also this very stout monster, though not as tall, but very very strong. I am sure he can break anything, even huge, thick walls!'

Reiner. Another favorite of her mother, second only to Eren and Bertolt.

'And this huge black-haired girl, always with this tiny little blonde woman sitting on her shoulder.'

Ymir and Historia. He was a little surprised that even they were not spared.

'And, and,...' the little girl suddenly realized that she had run out of monsters to count, thinking very hard on some other secrets about the family of the monsters to share.

'And, and, and my name is Zoe! Just like every other girl in this country!' the little girl added mischievously, and asked, 'your name is not Levi, right?'

That was a very valid question. After the war against the Titans, the names Levi and Zoe had become very popular for newborns. Even more popular than the names of the King and the Queen, in many areas.

'Yes. Unfortunately.' Levi bent down to pat on the messy brown top of the little girl with a deep heart-felt sigh, when the middle window on the second floor suddenly burst open, and a head of short raven hair popped out.

'Junior, stop loitering around, and pull your sorry ass right up here, you damn idiot! Everyone is waiting for you!' the man at the window shouted out angrily, shooting big dark scowls at the young man in the street.

'I hate that name!' unintimated, the younger man shouted back at that slightly older version of his own face perching at the windows.

'Hey, do you know how you can avoid being called "junior"?' the little girl standing behind him asked sheepishly with a big smirk on her face.

'What?' the young man asked with slightly raised frown brow, as if he could not understand her question.

'Get married and have your own son who you can give exactly the same name! Then you will be upgraded to be called "Levi the Second", not "junior" any more.'

'Tsk!' the older man at the windows rolled his beady eyes even further towards the sky and exclaimed as if it was a joke that the young man before him could ever find a wife and have a son.

Luckily, before he could throw out another harsh insult at his son, the window right next to him popped open, and a brown haired woman pushed her big smiley face up, and happily exclaimed, 'Hurry up, my dear! Dad is the cook! All your favorite food!' with that big signature ear-to-ear grin on her face.

As if she could ever be allowed in their kitchen, or in any kitchen in the world. Just imagine whatever she might try to sneak into the food, let alone all the mess she would leave behind. The young man shook his head slightly, adjusted the strap of the big duffel bag on his shoulder, and started climbing the steps leading to the porch.

'And you too, little Zoe! Don't try to run away just because Daddy said you have to eat your vegetables!' the woman shouted again, catching the little girl before she could sneak away by paddling her bike as fast as she could.

'Yes, Mommy!' the little girl answered in a reluctant voice before she stopped and turned around very, very slowly with pouted lips.

Damn parents! Could they just be a little more imaginative and stop naming their kids after themselves? The young man on the stairs stopped to wait for his younger sibling to catch up and sighed.

On second thoughts, it might not be that bad. Even though his little sister probably would not mind being called 'Wednesday', he definitely would rather not be called 'Pugsley'.


End file.
